


You're Fedorable

by YaBoyTwoHats



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, Lightsaber dildos challenge, M/M, Peterick, Smut, hat porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 06:17:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14099100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoyTwoHats/pseuds/YaBoyTwoHats
Summary: Pete loves Patrick. Pete steals Patrick's hat. Pete hasn't jerked off in a long time.





	You're Fedorable

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [YaBoyTwoHats](https://archiveofourown.org/users/YaBoyTwoHats/pseuds/YaBoyTwoHats) in the [starwars_fun_with_emobearthing](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/starwars_fun_with_emobearthing) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Pete jerks himself off with Patrick's hat

Pete flopped down happily on his couch and threw down his bag next to him. He had just gotten home from Patrick's house, and inside the bag was his newest prized posession. Borrowed, possession, he meant. Peaking out from the zipper was the tip of Patrick Stump's fedora. Okay, he admitted it. Stolen. S-t-o-l-e-n, stolen. He stole his best friend's trademark fedora. Without him knowing. And didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse about it.

He probably should feel bad. Pete did somewhere, because Patrick was an angel, a man he loved and didn't want any bad to come to. Patrick was the best part of his and many others' lives. Pete was also in love with Patrick, and that sometimes forced him to give in to his animalistic urges, and stealing his best friend's fedora felt more legal than stealing a kiss. That he couldn't return after a not-so-thorough washing.

The watch on his wrist read seven-something. He had all the time in the world until band practice the next day, and Patrick had no idea he had stolen his fedora from him. Nothing could stop him from it, so Pete decided to go slow. He dimmed the lights around him and closed the blinds. Lit a candle, put on some nice music, the works. He wished he had someone to share the moment with. 

Finally, he pulled the fedora from his bag so he could throw it in the dining room. The fabric was soft, most likely name brand, and the darkest of blacks. Pete looked around, suddenly nervous. What if he did get caught? That would not be a pretty- okay, it would be a pretty sight, but it would be a terribly awkward and possibly friendship-shattering moment if Patrick caught him doing the things he wanted to with his hat. Of course, the door was double bolted and he would hear any cars or footsteps passing by. He was safe.

Pete lazily drew his hand down to the button on his skinny jeans and undid it, other hand still holding the fedora. He wriggled a bit and got comfier on the couch. Now he undid his fly, the black fabric of his tight boxers matching Patrick's fedora. He wriggled on the couch again, this time to shake off his boxers instead of just standing up. He felt his erection without touching it. Once he had pulled off the maneuver that was taking off his pants, he lifted his hips up to pull his underwear away. Unstrained, his dick stood straight up, yearning to be touched in some way. Pete moved his hand with the fedora in it and put the hat over his cock. The feeling of the fabric made it twitch; Pete withholding the ability to stop as he crunched the fabric to mold itself over his dick. He was jerking himself off with his best friend's hat. Pete had been holding back any guttural noises with the teeth latched onto his bottom lip. A sudden pull that left him seeing stars also caused his teeth to lose their grip and he moaned.

"Oh fuck, oh god, oh Patrick," he groaned out, his cock singing. "So, so good. Oh god, Pattycakes, faster," he pleaded, Pete moving the hat easier as his cock leaked on it. He took the hat off of his dick for a second to bring it to his nose. It was probably disgusting to be smelling it considering what he had just done with it, but it smelled like sex and Patrick, two things he wanted so damn bad together, so he allowed himself to do it. He started jacking himself off again and allowed his other hand to move to his ass. He toyed around his asshole for a minute or so before finally bringing his fingers up and spitting on them. It was gross, Pete knew, but so was shoving his fingers up his ass anyway. He brought one finger to his opening and pushed hard, groaning at the stimulus. 

Soon he had two in, and he was scissoring himself and moaning Patrick's name and fucking annihilating his dick and Patrick's goddamn hat for God's sakes. He shoved a third finger in before he could stop himself and cried out.

"P-Patrick," sobbed Pete, crying his name as his fingers crooked into his prostate. His cock wept along with him and Pete took the fedora away from it, moving it right over his nose as he leant back to keep it there. Roughly, he moved his hand back to his dick itself and started pumping it. He pumped and kept shoving into himself until he made the exact right rhythm for both hands and half-shouted half-sobbed as he came. "Pa-AtrIck oh god. I love you I love you I love-" he blubbed, the hat sliding down into his mouth seemingly in protest of his whining. When he stopped panting he finally took the hat out of his mouth and smiled softly. He had came at just the right angle for most of his jizz to cover the fedora. 

Knowing that Patrick would freak out were his fedora covered in dried cum when he found it again, Pete licked up the salty consequence to his actions, trying to avoid slurping. Once it was entirely clean, he set it next to him before he dealt with his limp dick, covering it in the boxers on his knees. He stood up to pull on his pants and was just zipping his fly when he heard a knock at the door. Pete stupidly put the fedora on to try and look like he hadn't just been jerking off.

"Hello," Pete greeted hesitantly through the door. A groan followed by a disgruntled jumble of words made Pete open the door. Patrick. It was Patrick. Patrick was on his doorstep.

"So you did steal my hat," the younger accused. Pete blushed as red as the head of his cock had been not ten minutes ago.

"No?" He reached to the top of his head and yanked the hat off to hide it behind his back. Patrick pushed inside, chasing Pete until he had him in a corner. Pete had one hat-holding hand behind his back, the other at his side brushing one of two hands Patrick had put at his shoulders, blocking him from escape. "Fine," Pete moaned in mock disappointment. He held out the still drying hat to his best friend. 

Patrick groaned and murmured something that sounded like, "goddamn stupidest- most oblivious guy- ever met," before he smacked the hat onto the floor. Pete looked puzzled until Patrick moved his head foreword and attacked Pete's lips with his own. After assuring himself that yes, this was in fact happening, Pete kissed back fiercely. Patrick pushed himself against Pete, moving his hands from the wall and onto the sides of his best friend's neck. Pete hooked his hand around the crook of Patrick's neck and his waist. The two grinned into the kiss until Patrick sniffed and smelled something he was unprepared for.

"Wait," he gasped. "Why the- god- why the hell does my hand smell like cum?" Pete glanced momentarily down at the hat, but long enough for the other to catch on. "Oh don't tell me," whined Patrick.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't."

"I totally did."

"You like me so much that you stole my hat so you could smell it while jerking off?"

"Well..."

"What?"

"It was more than smelling it," Pete admitted, now woefully embarrassed.

"You didn't," Patrick accused again.

"Didn't what?"

"You d- you didn't. You didn't. There is absolutely no way my best friend in the entire world would risk our friendship and the band by going behind my back to steal my hat and use it to jerk off your cock and then have the audacity to wear it to the front door in front of actual people."

Pete smiled sheepishly.

"Oops?" Patrick groaned and then did a whole 180 and started laughing his head off.

"What?" Patrick kept laughing and it turned into more of a giggle over time. "What, Patty, please!"

"This," he panted, "is such a."

"Such a? Such a what?"

He grinned.

"Meme'd it." He kept laughing until he was draping himself over Pete, not that the latter was complaining.

"God, I love you," Pete sighed, over-stimulated and over the moon.

"Love you too," Patrick admitted over a fit of giggles. It was an incredibly weird one, but Pete wouldn't change that moment for the world, or, he thinks, the moon.


End file.
